Poem: The Venting

(Here's a more personal one)



Look, you did it to yourself why try involving me?
too sick to see the picture that you drew yourself,
diabetic cuz ya dreams too sweet but your mind is stale,
we go back, and yes i love ya, but you know it's not for us to be,
i knew it, you cheated, so bad ya mom's regretted,
but i let it.. go, as I did you,
but when ya cuz passed WHO helped you get there?
didn't talk for damn near a year,
but two weeks before you get married you blow up my phone,
I'll attest it to fear, but fear of what? losin me?
you had me talk to him on the phone when I helped out monetarily,
YOU were the one gettin married, and no I ain't want you,
now you want me pseudo back in ya life, i fight the urge to call you trife,
cuz we go so far back,
i love ya fam, and our sisters are the best of friends,
but you crazy as hell, rush a dude to take ya hand,
and he was hella tight, ya'll got in fights,
you told me once you got a lil hurt, but not his fault that night,
i'm half across the continent, ready to blank out of conciousness,
grab the bow, make a call, drive, get t'desi, you know..make it messy,
but for all that in three months?
that's the only amount of time that's past?
makes me think, what kinda crazy shit wrong wit ya'll ass,
said you wanted to be married by 21, rushin no just thought flushin,
so ya young mans made ya dream come true,
but both ya'll are OVERLY strugglin, and barely supportin yourselves,
you livin with ya people till you get on ya feet
and that's fine, but gettin married in that same feat?
he younger than you in the same condition,
rely on time to win wars of attrition? GOT DAMN!
No that's not the way, you smarter than that, ..I hoped
but let's get to the real, i feel foolish
why do i put up with you, entertain ya problems,
help you keep your sanity, i don't want nothin from you,
or make a whole with you, but yet i'm here,
i'm your friend, a love unlust just want you to be ok,
cuz i know my spare attentiveness helps you from fallin deeper in that hole,
do i love my friends too much.., i can't stand to see 'em suffer,
even when it's self inflicted, but i'm fucked up too,
cuz obviously involvin my help I damn near martyr myself,
i wanted to dress this up a little nicer, give it proper lyricism,
but this taste is too raw in my mouth, i don't even want to chew it,
so i'll swallow my pride before i choke on my issues,
this won't get settled with water or pieces of tissue,
you think I miss you!? tellin me what YOU would do, if you were her, mine, at the time,
just let me know she had so much more sense than you, and no it didn't work out tho,
but behyabi will do just fine, but you? man i don't know,
but yo i got a clue, ..just a couple days ago.. you text me tho,
bout how you stressed and ya man want to disband,
but keep you as a cutty buddy which further confirmed he ain't a man,
ya'll MARRIED man! but he then he told ya how trife he could get,
i told you that shit was retarded and even laughable that he suggested it,
knocked me off my rhythm as a write freelancer, you tryna make it work?
you tryna raise the dead like a necromancer,
and this issue's kinda new to me, label me amateur cryin "fuck iambic pentameter"
so you tell me things before you tell ya moms, because you know what she gonna say,
and I'm thinkin, WHY DIDN'T YOU LISTEN!?
but let's cut deeper, clue'n me in on all ya whimpers,
i never get good news from you, but some how stayin in touch will make me want you?
trust me i know, he's gettin that divorce and you want me to come save you,
but not this way no, i've become keen to all your symptoms,
WHY THE FUCK YOU THINK THAT I JUST WANT A VICTIM?
she gotta have somethin goin for herself, at least self respect, not just for me to play hero,
though you understand that part of me, I WON'T swan dive just to come up wit a minnow,
so that idea's out the window, swing for the fences,
i heard the opposite of love's not hate, but actually indifference,
and that's where I'm approachin, and even that's painful,
but i have to pull back cuz it's not just you,
any true friend of mine, all of this I would go through,
the difference is with this one, i'm just being used,
so this friendship has been abused, i don't focus all my time on you,
just one of my pages in my book of friends that a flipped page is past due,
but i just got text.. damn ..it's you..

-Nem