Thursday, December 16, 2010

A Man's Love For His Wife

I believe it, more to that point
I believe in it and in you.
I'm no closer to perfect than anyone else too.
I'll do all I can to keep you.
I never seek to hurt your feelings or betray your trust,
It is very special to me, as your heart is.
I will protect you and always have your best interests in mind.
I will make you my world,
to cultivate and take care of and
you will make the world over with
your fruits.
God is our foundation and we will build on it.
I will always keep an open mind and ear to
your counsel. I treasure
your mind, so
your opinions are invaluable.
I will support
I will lead
you, and
we will learn from each other.
Our differences help me tell us apart.
It reminds me that I'm not alone.
I love your differences as much as our similarities.
I will blanket you in
love. and
God will be our tent.
I love
you, every part of


Thursday, August 5, 2010

(Mindspill) Thoughts On Love

Hey people, I know it's been a minute, been real busy with my new job and stuff, but I was on facebook replying to a friend's status about if men could love as intensely as women and it drew out all of this from my brain.

Love is a verb.. action, intensity is a measure of focus.. an adjective usually emotion based in a situation like this. I think when you try to pair the two in the idea of a woman loving the man more than they give back (and that that's a measure of love) is a flawed idea.

Love isn't an emotion, and I don't think real love has different levels so you can't intensify the action (it's unconditional). Men tend to be less emotional than women, this drives women nuts when in love because they are assured he doesn't feel as strongly in love.. when in reality that shouldn't even apply to love in and of itself. Also, on the other hand, when a man is visibly and emotionally invested in a deep form he often ends up disregarded by the center of his affection and labeled too feminine (irony?).

A relationship requires more than love, it requires emotion and it's intensity as well as respect, understanding, and attraction. In this case, men tend to not be as emotional, again making women feel that way. Obviously, not all men are mature enough to handle their emotions or impulses (lust, yes all men and women have this impulse attraction to others at some point or another, we're built that way.. born into sin [lust is a sin]) and that causes failures of relationships (NOT love, abuses love though) usually resulting in scorned partners.

Why do you think you can love those you aren't attracted to? Or even lost relationships (regardless of how they are lost)? Your children can grow up to be cold blooded murderers, but you will love them even in your most vast of disappointment, because it's unconditional given the bonds established. Love can't be intensified, it's simply done/existent/given(action) due to the bonds formed for the action to take place. Your ability to love comes from God Himself, the good and wicked are loved equally, even His discipline is done out of love. His justice is done out of love.

I think Love is one of the most misunderstood concepts in humanity, to the point that we actually try to state that we are "in love".. we make love a noun and wrongly associate attributes to it for that form. It is still action, you are in action(movement) emotionally (In love intensely). I think only God has the ability to make action a person place or thing (refer back to "we make love a noun..". This is why God is Love (noun and verb and everything else), and an inherit lacking of ability from Man. Which is why at best we can only be Christ-like, but that's edging into a whole 'nother point.


Thursday, March 11, 2010

A Darker Piece of Me

This is more of a personal post, and not of my usual poems/mindspills.

"Life's gettin colder I'm revealing the smirk..."

This is a quote from the song "Love It Here" by rapper Elzhi that has been sticking with me lately. Things are making a turn for more good in my life. I'm finally employed and the moves I've made have born fruit.. but there's just something the air that is just wrong. I've been having strange dreams too.. for example I had a dream of being in a tropical coast like Florida enjoying my time.. and I look up and there's a huge tidal wave coming towards me and other random people in the water. The dream goes further but to address the point a few days later that Chile earthquake hit, the one that caused tsunamis for assorted countries.

I've been having a lot of dreams involving water and strange looking cities. I also feel like my heart about things is changing. I tweeted a couple days ago "What if what you grow to become (or not become)would determine the fate of the world. ..I'm going to be better for you." I know I'm not done growing as a person but this was bothering me because some of the things I feel I know best are changing their value (decreasing) in my heart. As pansy-fied as that sounds it's the best way I can explain it.. I do feel my current experiences are influencing that. It may be a temporary thing and one I would rather not go further speaking on. I feel as if becoming numb to things. Maybe my "self" is doing this in a means to cope and retain patience in life.

Something else that I've been fighting with for a long while now is this inner sense of cynicism past that of critical appraisal or humor. It's a little scary to speak on because I truly feel it is an evil within me that I've been fighting with. I find myself having slight expressions of delight when events that shouldn't cause such happen. Frankly it's alarming, and I know it's wrong.. something I've been fighting for many years... seems it has finally come to a point where I actually need to speak on it to help fight it. Those that know me know this is quite the opposite of who I am, or at least of who I'm perceived as. This relates to that tweet I spoke of earlier because I feel like if I succumb to whatever that is it will be very negative for those in my immediate vicinity.. friends & family... my world.

I know I have something important to do, though I do not know if it is accomplished through my life or death. That's something else I think on a lot more than normal, but that's another post in itself. I'll just continue to pray that God develops me in purpose and shields me and my world.

A rather dark post from me I know, but it felt right to speak on.


Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Video: Maafa 21 (Black Genocide in America via Birth Control)

This is a really good documentary. It will definitely make you reconsider the intentions of people and initiatives.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Verse: Cut You Loose

Never really finished it.. a little verse, something I was working with @Hurrikane_IKE on a while back.

The times I used to spend with you, were the realest boo,
I'd think bout what we used to do,
so many memories of good in you, slowly misconstrue,
the moment I start takin hits for you,
I'd try to prove the things that he couldn't do,
vile and crude the things that I went through for moot,
tried to shoot, but i didn't have the banger bandana
or the arm and hammer for her BK roots,
she cuts up should I follow suit,
nah, it aint worth the time,
she gettin hers but I ain't gettin mine,
darlin fine, just remember this what you designed,
turn around wantin me to play hero for ya sick
ass ego but I ignore your score's a big fat zero,
so sad when friendships abused, i'm not amused
don't get confused, thats why I had to cut you loose.