Monday, October 19, 2009

Mindspill: Humble's Torture - Self

*I'm very critical of myself*

in the dark recesses of the mind
the thoughts you can't help and all wrong in design,
criminal, ill-spiritual, proportions near biblical,
the daily battle for what qualifies as sane,
Socially Acceptable Normally Eclectic,
Prosthetic, but it has its uses,
the sanctified mace of the good fight, swings for justice?
or just us, maybe one in the same,
or dies that determine who's purpose I actively work to attain,
and by who's standard am I judged? Trick question
how fake am I and truth I am is,
the truth hurts, but to be honest with yourself?
Mellow or apathetic, the reason I have to "get it"
why or what this pride, the anger it spawns, the dissatisfaction,
what standard does pride hold me to? How does it measure me,
projecting my trick as a mirror image, opposite but obvious
did I learn to flip it back so that I envision it right?
I find ways to close my world because then I can measure it,
I'm supposed to fight that, is that why I leave?
in hopes of being humbled I never grow too conceited,
to find newer opposition I can sink my teeth in?
scared to become full of myself, but I am... ish,
denounced for such prominence, preferring fair over dominance
but look at and past the world thinking should I change
I'm already full of myself to me, so to others that I refuse to convey
it's not that my will is feeble, it's just inner conflict never leaves you,
like it knows better ...or of it


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